Mandira on coping with Raj Kaushal’s death

In a recent heartfelt conversation, Mandira Bedi reflected on the pain of losing her husband, filmmaker Raj Kaushal, who passed away at the age of 50 due to a

heart attack

. She reportedly shared that navigating through grief was an intensely personal journey, one that offered no shortcuts. The actress and TV presenter opened up about how the first year after his death was the most difficult for her and their two children, Vir and Tara, as they tried to cope with the profound loss.While speaking on the YouTube channel The Full Circle, Mandira is believed to have expressed how emotionally draining the first year had been — from celebrating birthdays to enduring anniversaries and festivals like Diwali. These milestones, she said, brought a wave of sorrow, often leaving her wanting to shut herself away and cry for hours. Each "first" without Raj was described as a challenge she had no choice but to endure.She also reportedly spoke about how their daughter Tara had only spent a few months with Raj before his passing, having been adopted just 8-9 months earlier. Their son Vir, however, had shared a deep bond with his father, and his heartbreak ran deep. Mandira recalled never stopping him from expressing his grief, saying she rejected outdated notions like “boys don’t cry.” Instead, she encouraged him to let his emotions flow freely, believing that only by doing so could they one day remember Raj with smiles instead of tears.

Mandira went on to share that although she followed all the traditional mourning rituals — including a one-month and one-year puja — she eventually chose not to mark Raj’s death anniversary as a day of sadness. She reportedly questioned what there was to gain from holding onto such sorrowful reminders. Rather than dwell on the loss, she preferred to honour Raj on his birthday every year, organizing a special puja followed by a lunch featuring his favourite dishes. According to her, this Sunday lunch tradition, surrounded by friends and laughter, was their way of celebrating his life.She also admitted that while she still feels a sense of sadness on the anniversary of his death, she doesn’t want her children to grow up associating the day with grief. Instead, she wants them to remember their father for the joy and legacy he left behind.Mandira also reportedly revealed a deeply personal ritual she has followed every day since Raj’s passing — offering a prayer to him. In those quiet moments, she thanks him for their children, the home they share, and the systems he set in place. She even apologises for the hard times in their marriage, showing how love, loss, and healing continue to coexist in her journey forward.