8 better ways to 'calm down' an angry child

How to calm down a child

Every child gets angry at some point—and that's okay. Anger is a normal emotion. But what matters most is how it's handled. When a child loses their cool, punishing or shouting back may only make things worse. Here are 8 thoughtful ways to help an angry child feel better.

Get down to their level

Children often feel overwhelmed when big emotions take over. Kneeling down to their eye level and softly saying, “Looks like something’s bothering you,” helps build trust. This small gesture shows respect and makes the child feel safe.

Name the emotion they’re feeling

Instead of saying, “Stop being angry,” try something like, “It seems like you’re really upset right now.” Labeling emotions helps children understand what they’re going through.

Ask what they need right now

Sometimes, all it takes is a simple question like, “What would help you feel better right now?” Whether it’s a glass of water, a hug, or some alone time, this question puts the child in charge of their emotions.

Offer help without pressure

Rather than jumping in with solutions, asking gently, “Is there something I can do for you?” shows willingness to support without forcing anything.

Use calm touch or just sit in silence

Sometimes, words don’t help. A gentle touch on the back or just sitting quietly beside them can offer more comfort than any explanation.

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Talk after the storm has passed

Once the child is calm, sitting down and saying, “Let’s talk about what happened earlier,” can help reflect on the situation together.

Deep breathing with fun tricks

Turning deep breathing into a game—like “smell the flower, blow the candle”—can be surprisingly effective.

Create a ‘calm corner’

Having a cosy corner with pillows, soft toys, and calming activities like drawing or fidget toys gives children a safe space to cool down.

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Next: 10 tips to raise a child who remains positive in every situation